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What Makes Me a Terrible Mama

Being a “mommy blogger” and participating in various groups I see “mommy wars” all too often. It’s time we stop the madness and start to support one another. We have differences; no one is exactly the same as another person and I thank God for that! It’s time we stop judging one another and let each mama make decisions that are right for HER family.

Jen fromLife With Levi shared this great photo on her Facebook fan page Wednesday. What happened after that is something I am sure she never expected. All she wanted to prove with this photo is that we are all different but we all love our babies. What came out of it were many rude and ugly comments and arguments galore. A simple reminder turned into an ugly battle of mamas against mamas.

Mom Wars

The heated rants led to Jen and a friend discussing just what makes them “crappy” parents. Jen posted about what makes her a crappy parent so I thought I would join her and confess what makes me a crappy mama! 🙂

Things I do that make me a crappy mama:

1) I give in when my 2 year old whines or cries. I give him his way. Often.
2) I cloth diaper part of the time and use disposable diapers part of the time.
3) I try to rid our home of as many chemicals as I can by using natural cleaners.
4) I let my 2 year old eat macaroni and cheese almost daily because he doesn’t eat much else.
5) I have breastfed all three of my kids: my oldest for 10 months, LA for 12 months and Addy is still going strong at 7 months.
6) I let my 2 year old watch Elmo.
7) I kiss my kids daily. Many times.
8) I never drank a caffeinated beverage when I was pregnant with my oldest, but did with both of my youngest.
9) On my off-of-work days if we don’t have anywhere to go, we stay in our jammies as long as possible.
10) LA slept in our bedroom for only 4 weeks and then started sleeping in his crib. Addy was 4 months but we still co-sleep after she wakes up to eat in the middle of the night.
11) I let my son play with a Little Tikes kitchen and shopping cart.
12) I didn’t use organic anything with my oldest son. I use more organic with Addy than I did with either of my boys. Mostly when it comes to clothes.
13) I use only organic baby food and Addy didn’t get any til she was 6 months old. LA was 5.5 months.
14) I pray with my kids and will always teach them about God and Jesus.
15) I vaccinate my children.
16) My husband and I decided together to circumcise both of our boys.
17) I sing to my kids and laugh with them.
18) I discipline my children.
19) My two year old son has never had a hair cut and often gets referred to as “she”.
20) My 16 year old got a cell phone when he was 9.
21) I flirt with and kiss my husband in front of our children.
22) I don’t cook as often as I should. In fact, since I had Addy, we’ve eaten out more than in.
23) Listening to my children laugh is the best thing in the world, no matter what it takes to make them laugh. Yup, I can get pretty entertaining to make them laugh.
24) I work outside of the home and don’t spend as much time with my kids as I want to.
25) Big brother and LA love sweets. They get it from their mama.
26) We got Addy’s ears pierced when she turned 6 months old. Her doctor pierced them.
27) We use mostly jarred baby food because I don’t want to take any more time away from my babies to make all of her baby food.

I could go on and on with this list. I am not the best parent in the world but my children are amazing and I think my husband and I have done a great job. I am beyond proud of my 16 year old son and my 2 year old and even my 7 month old baby girl, even though she can’t even talk yet! My point is, as was Jen’s point, we all make our own decisions and that doesn’t make us crappy parents! We all love our kids. We all do our own things. Embrace each other’s differences and STOP JUDGING PEOPLE! As long as our children are loved, safe and nurtured, there is no wrong way.

Tired of all the mommy war drama? Let’s celebrate our different parenting styles and share all the things that make us (NOT) crappy moms. Please link up your posts here and stop by to support each other!


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Comments

  1. I am so glad that more people are promoting this exact subject!! I don’t understand why as moms we are so judgmental of others’ decisions. I think it is due to the fact most woman are so judgmental about other women and we teach our children that when they are young. I have been reading some books on the topic of how to raise our little girls to not be judgemental of others etc. It is really fascinating how the little things judging someone else’s hair can impact our children. Thank you and all of the other bloggers who are making people aware of this topic!

    • That is an intriguing topic and now I am going to be looking into those books! I definitely don’t want to raise my daughter to be judgmental. I agree, I think it stems from women in general being to judgmental of one another and we need to make the effort to no pass this on to our little ones. Great point!

  2. Wow, all I can say is that. My oldest daughter is now a mama herself, and sadly, doesn’t have many female friends because of this very reason. Lets be honest here, a lot of the women who commented on that Facebook photo, I wouldn’t want to be friends with, either. But seriously, women do it to themselves. If you put it out there, expect to be attacked. Keep your mothering to yourself. In other words, it’s nobody else’s business how you raise your kids, so find a real, true friend who you can trust, and screw the mommy groups. Nothing but a bunch of hypocrite anyway. Most of those “perfect” moms have skeletons in their closet, believe that.
    Women should be ashamed of themselves. When I raised my babies, I focused on being the best mom to MY KIDS, that I knew how. Not being the best mom to the general public. If I seemed antisocial, it was because I was focused on my family, not on “one-upping” the mom down the street. As sad as it is that my babies are grown, I am very glad I don’t have young children these days. Seems motherhood has become a game rather than a life passion.

    • I think you are so right about it becoming a game to many, sadly. I applaud you for focusing on your kids when they were young and being a great mama! The world would be a better place if there were more people like that! 🙂 Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

  3. From one #notacrappymom to another, I think you’re doing a great job! I don’t think I will ever understand why moms feel the need to judge other moms. I personally would rather focus my time and energy on my own kids :).

  4. Danielle @ We Have It All says:

    Aww, I love your list. If you’re a crappy mom, then I’m a crappy mom and we are all crappy moms. I love that you flirt and kiss in front of the kids… we do to. They should see their parents in love!

  5. I am so angry that her post became a negative thing, but I love seeing all these moms share their “not so great” moments to show we are all real. I think it is fun to see how many other moms do the things I swore I would never do… and then did.

  6. You WHAT?! You kiss your kids daily? What kind of a mother does that?! bahahahaha I love all these differences! Different doesn’t mean wrong. We’re all moms together in this world. We definitely need to support each other. My post will go live tomorrow! I’ve been writing it the last couple of days, trying to find an ending to my crapiness! I think it’s a never ending list. =)

  7. Wow… I too cannot believe that people turned something like that into grounds for arguments. This is just one of those examples of social media becoming more of a curse than a blessing:( people who don’t know each other, therefore have no love or grace for one another, learning details of another’s parenting style that a few years ago would have only been discussed amongst close friends, where bearing your soul is safe. That, and, as my husband always says- 90% of people lack social intelligence;) haha. But seriously, so sad really:(

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